that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize