so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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