I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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