Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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