she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
