I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
