All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
