Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize