Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
