...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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