after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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