problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
