drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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