at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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