"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
