i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
