did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
