Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
