I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
My feet surprised me
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
