Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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