You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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