I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
