I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
