You can't special order awesome
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
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