The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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