Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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