I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
