I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
