I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
