how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
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