very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
