You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
