yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
