I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
