i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
