i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
