so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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