I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
