we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
try to milk me bitch
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