the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
