i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
