question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
