The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
