I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I have post one night stand depression
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