dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
