He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
