Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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