SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
All I want is dick and wine.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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