Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I am mentally ready for anal.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
