He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
