wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
