I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
