I am puke
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Randomize
