bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
