I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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