I molested 6 butterflies tonight
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
