Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
