im drinking this country out of the recession.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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