i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
