hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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