doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
