He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize