I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
