I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
