puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
