he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
you traded sex for a burrito?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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