I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize