kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Randomize
