I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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