areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
there is glitter all over my balls
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