Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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